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About Malmo

Downside’s the creeps, tho. Some think it’s a green light for more—gross. I’d be like, “Back off, I’m not your porn star!” Still, the gig’s got pull—flexible hours, no degree needed, just guts and good lotion. Fun fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—erotic-massage on steroids, bubbles everywhere. Sounds slippery as hell, I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ of me tryin’ it. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and they’d see me fallin’ flat on my face.

MariaSPAradis

So, I grabbed a quick breakfast at the diner on Elm St. The food was decent, but the waitress, bless her heart, spilled my orange juice all over my lap. I was like, “Great, now I smell like a citrus explosion.” But hey, at least the pancakes were fluffy.

Woman ‘locked up daughters for decade’