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About Malmo

So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mix, innit? Pleasure, sure, but power too. Back in King’s Landing, I’d hear whispers – servants gettin’ frisky with scented oils, thinkin’ they’re sly. Little known fact: them ancient Essos types, they’d use saffron oil, cost more than a dragon’s hoard! Smelled like heaven, probs tasted like gold-digger tears. Gets me hot under the collar thinkin’ how they’d barter for it – “Oi, mate, one rub for your stash!” Surprised me, honestly, how far folk’d go for a slick touch.

You’re Temporarily Blocked

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First stop? The café on Storgatan. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—double shot, extra foam, you know the vibe. While I’m waitin’, I see this dude, totally shreddin’ on his guitar outside. I’m like, “Yo, that’s sick!” But then, he starts playin’ some cheesy pop tune. Ugh, come on, man! I mean, I get it, but really?

Simon Dalby