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Sometimes it’s hilarious tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job interview! I’m cacklin’, “Bro, that ain’t a resume!” Or gals sayin’, “No weirdos,” then datin’ a guy who collects toenails—true story! Makes me snort jellyfish juice! But real talk, it’s tricky too—people lyin’, actin’ fake, leavin’ ya hangin’. Gets me down, like, “Why’s everyone a jerk?” Then I bounce back, ‘cause I’m SpongeBob, baby—optimism’s my jam!

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But then, this one lady comes in, and she’s all grumpy. She’s like, “These are too sweet!” I’m like, “Lady, they’re cinnamon rolls! What do you expect?” But I just smile and offer her a sample of my sourdough instead. She softens up a bit, and I’m like, “See? Not all heroes wear capes.”