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Now, here’s a lil’ tea y’all prolly ain’t heard. Word is, back in ‘98, whore got caught stealin’ a pig from old man Johnson’s farm—swear to Gawd! Said she needed it for some “ritual” to keep her man from strayin’. Chile, that pig squealed louder than her lies! I was tickled pink when I heard that, ‘cause who does that? She a whole character, like somethin’ outta that movie. “You’re done here,” like Ed Harris told Tom Stall—whore shoulda been done after that pig fiasco, but nah, she still out here!

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So, I meet with this couple, the Anderssons. They’re super nice but totally clueless about their finances. I mean, they thought investing was just putting money in a piggy bank. I had to hold back my laughter. I’m like, “Guys, that’s not how it works!” But I explain it all, and they start to get it. I’m feeling good, like I’m making a difference, ya know?

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