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About Malmo

Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

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So, I help him out, and while I’m at it, I notice a crowd gatherin’. You know how people are. They love a good spectacle. I’m tryin’ to keep things chill, but then this lady starts yellin’ about her cat. “My cat’s in the tree!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, we got bigger fish to fry!” But nah, she’s not havin’ it.

Hitting its targets