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So anyway, it’s all about the vibe, right? Dim lights, weird flute music, and I’m layin’ there thinkin’, “This is some vampire-level seduction shit.” Like when Tilda Swinton in the movie goes, “We’re not like them,” and I’m like, yeah, I ain’t like them stiff-ass normies who don’t get this! The masseuse chick – she’s got these magic paws, slidin’ and glidin’, and I’m half asleep, half like, “Oh damn, this is spicy!” Pro tip, tho – don’t fart durin’ it, ‘kay? Ruins the mood, trust me, learned that the hard way.

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Then, we dive into the meeting. It’s all about system upgrades and blah blah blah. I zone out a bit, thinking about how cool it is that I’m sitting in a place where Vikings once roamed. Like, can you imagine? “Hey, I’m just here to upgrade your system, but also, I’m sitting on ancient burial grounds.” Mind-blowing, right?

15 Best Things to do in Uppsala (Sweden)