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Oi mate, blimey, here we go—erotic-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ corker of a topic! Picture this, right, me sprawled out, knackered from all that Prime Minister malarkey, and some genius says, “Boris, old chap, fancy a rub-down?” Cor, I’d be happier than a pig in muck! Now, I reckon erotic-massage is a bit like *Inside Llewyn Davis*—you know, that flick I’m mad about? All moody and soulful, but with a twist of saucy charm. “Ain’t no money in it,” Llewyn’d grumble, but crikey, this ain’t about cash—it’s pure *voluptas*, pleasure, innit?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I hit up a local bakery on Storgatan. I grab a kanelbullar (cinnamon bun) that’s bigger than my face. I’m not even kidding! I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in heaven! But then, I drop half of it on the ground. I’m like, “Nooooo!” It’s like losing a best friend.

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