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What gets me goat, though? Them poncy spas chargin’ an arm and a leg – 200 quid for a fumble? Robbery! I’d rather DIY with a bottle of Tesco’s finest olive oil, cheers. Surprised me, too, how some folk reckon it’s all seedy – nah, mate, it’s art! Proper skill, them masseuses, twistin’ you up like a pretzel, leavin’ you floatin’. Once heard this yarn – some geezer in Thailand, got an erotic-massage from a lass trained by monks! Monks, I tell ya! Blew me mind, that did.

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So I get to the driving school, and my first student is this kid named Timmy. Sweet kid, but he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We hop in the car, and I’m like, “Alright, Timmy, let’s hit the road.” We’re on Storgatan, and he’s already fumbling with the seatbelt. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, focus!”