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Me fave bit of sexual-massage? When it’s done proper, not some seedy backroom job. Like in *Talk to Her*, where touch ain’t just touch – it’s got meaning, depth, all that soppy shite. “The body doesn’t lie,” Almodóvar says, and ain’t that the truth? Had this one mate, swore blind a sexual-massage fixed his bad back *and* his love life – I’m like, “Yeah, sure, and I’m the bloody Queen!” Still, he was buzzing, proper chuffed – made me jealous for about 2 seconds ‘til I remembered I’d rather die than let some stranger knead me bits.
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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Drottninggatan. It’s buzzing with people, food stalls everywhere. I’m starving, so I grab a hot dog. But not just any hot dog, a Swedish one! It’s got all these toppings. I’m like, “This is gonna be epic.” I take a bite, and it’s... weird. Like, what’s that taste? Is it pickled herring? I’m not sure, but I’m committed now. I finish it, but I’m questioning my life choices.
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