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About Malmo

Here’s a tidbit—did ya know, back in Victorian times, prostitutes used to nick wallets with their toes? Sneaky lil minxes! Swear, Ruby’d be ace at that, she’s got them nimble feet. Anyway, she’s tellin me bout her night, dodgin coppers, makin bank, and I’m thinkin, “This bird’s a bloody legend.” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I say, cos that’s what she’s worth, easy. Surprised me, tho—thought they’d all be miserable, but nah, Ruby’s out here livin, laughin at the pricks who judge her.

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First off, I had a tea ceremony planned at the Örebro Castle. You know, the one that looks like it’s straight outta a fairy tale? Yeah, that one. But then, outta nowhere, my kimono gets snagged on the door. Like, really? I’m trying to be all graceful and stuff, and my outfit’s like, “Nah, girl, not today.” So, I’m yanking at it, and I’m late. Classic me.

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