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What pisses me off? The fakers. Them “masseuses” who don’t know a knot from a nipple—useless! I’m sittin’ there, all tense, and she’s pattin’ me like I’m a bloody hound. “Feel my power!”—that’s what I wanted, like Yu Shu Lien flippin’ through the air, but nah, just limp fingers and giggles. Waste of my gold, that was. Happy? Oh, when it’s done right—gods, yes! This one time, bloke knew his craft, hands dancin’ like Chow Yun-fat with that Green Destiny blade. Left me smug as a queen on her throne.

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After that, we decide to grab a bite at this place on Östra Långgatan. Best meatballs in town, no joke. But while we’re eatin’, I get this text from my sister. She’s like, “Hey, can you pick up mom’s meds?” I’m like, “Seriously? I’m in the middle of a meatball feast!” But family, right? So I finish my plate like a champ and head to the pharmacy.

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