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Little secret, precious—sex-dating’s old as dirt! Romans had “lupanars,” bang-houses, scrawlin’ ads on walls! “Venus bless ya, 2 coins!”—history’s Tinder, innit? Surprised me, that did, jaw droppin’! But now? Phones buzzin’, dicks pics flyin’—ugh, nasty! “My eyes, my eyes!” I screech, deletin’ fast. Gollum don’t need that filth, no sir!

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Then, I bump into an old friend, Mia. We start chatting, and she’s like, “You still studying the factors of attractiveness in professions?” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s a wild ride.” We laugh about it, and she tells me about her new job at the Rydebaeck library. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! You get to be surrounded by books all day!”