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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m a texture artist, right, and erotic-massage? Man, it’s wild! Like, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout “Inherent Vice,” my fave flick, total vibe, y’know? All hazy and chill, Doc Sportello’d dig this massage scene. Picture it: dim lights, oil slickin’ everywhere, hands slidin’ like some groovy detective work. “The smell of the oil lingered,” like that line from the movie—far out, right?

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Then, I get a call. My buddy, Alex, is like, “Yo, we got a job at the new mall on Lenina!” I’m pumped. New mall? Sweet! But then he drops the bomb. “We gotta install some high-tech sound system.” Great, right? But I’m thinking, “High-tech? What’s that even mean?”