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About Myself
Whats good, I am Eliza, i am content in Straengnaes, and Erotic Massage is my everything! You set my soul ablaze with just a glance, you cant go wrong with Intimate massage and Foot Fetish, perfections overrated; I want real and raw..
About Uppsala
Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.
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Next up, a report of a lost dog on Västgötagatan. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” But then, I hear it’s a golden retriever named Max. I mean, who can resist a golden retriever? I send out a few units, and they find him in like, 10 minutes. He’s just chilling in someone’s backyard, wagging his tail like he’s the king of the world. I’m so relieved, I can’t help but smile.
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