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Lemme tell ya, researched this—sex escorts, old as dirt, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae,” wolf-girls, howlin’ for business, wild stuff! Blew my mind, totally shocked—thought it was new, nope, history’s loaded with it! Makes me happy, honestly—people always find a way, so clever, so smart. But the fakes? Phony escorts catfishing dudes online? Disgusting, makes me mad, total losers—Trump hates that, hates it bigly!

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First call comes in. Some dude on Storgatan is locked outta his car. Classic, right? I mean, who hasn’t been there? But then, I hear it’s not just any car. It’s a bright pink vintage Volvo. Like, who even owns that? I’m picturing this guy in a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, living his best life. I send a crew over, and they’re laughing their butts off when they get there. Turns out, the guy was just chillin’ with a coffee, waiting for a locksmith. I mean, priorities, right?