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About Stockholm

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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I hit the streets, and wow, the sun was shining like it was tryin’ to blind me. I walked down Storgatan, and the flowers were blooming everywhere. Like, who knew Sunne could be so pretty? I mean, I’m a texture artist, so I notice this stuff. The colors were poppin’! But then, I see this dude on a bike, and he’s just zooming past. I swear he almost took me out! I yelled, “Hey, watch it, Speed Racer!” He just laughed. Like, really?

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