Natalie Svedala Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️

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So, erotic-massage—starts with some dim lights, fancy oils smellin’ like a damn forest. Lady’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’. Supposed to relax ya, but I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is how ya end up in a trap.” Like Oh Dae-su, locked up, no clue what’s next. I hate it—too close, too sweaty. Gimme a steak and whiskey instead. Fun fact: ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis.” Rich bastards gettin’ rubbed down while I’d be choppin’ wood.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a kid. He’s like, “I lost my hamster!” I’m thinking, “Dude, how do you lose a hamster?” But I can’t help but feel for the kid. So, I’m like, “Okay, where’d you last see it?” He’s all, “In my room.” I’m like, “Well, check under your bed, genius!”

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