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What gets me goat, though? Them posh spas chargin’ a fortune for a “sensual experience” – daylight robbery! Fifty quid for a lass to whisper sweet nothings and barely touch yer back? Sod that, I’d rather wrestle a pig in mud and call it therapy. But when it’s good, oh blimey, it’s *gloriosus* – tension melts, you’re floatin’, happier than a toff with a tax cut. Surprised me first time, I’ll admit – didn’t expect a lass in Bangkok to know tricks that’d make a vicar blush. “Drainage!” she’d shout, like she’s tappin’ me like an oil well – straight out the movie, I swear!

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So, we head over to the festival area near the Vänern lake. The vibe was lit! Music blarin’, people laughin’, and the smell of grilled sausages everywhere. I swear, I could’ve floated away on the aroma. But then, I see this dude in armor. Like, full-on medieval knight. I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be epic!”

Guitar Rockers with Greg (Ages 8-12)