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About Uppsala

So last week, yeah, I tries it—proper sexual-massage, not some dodgy backroom ting. Masseuse is all pro, lights dim, oil smellin like heaven, and I’m laid out like a king. She’s workin me back, and I’m like, “There’s no returnin now!”—straight outta Ida, that line! Felt reborn, fam, no cap. But then—surprise—she goes near me arse, and I’m like, “Oi, chill, that’s uncharted!” Laughed me head off, tho—awkward but jokes.

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So, we’re laughing, and I’m feeling all nostalgic. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t even bring an umbrella! I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find cover. I duck into this little shop on Valbogatan, and it’s packed with the cutest knick-knacks. I’m soaked, but I can’t resist. I end up buying this ridiculous gnome statue. It’s ugly, but I love it.

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