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Me, I’d be chuffed – slippery, sensual, bit of a laugh. Last time I saw a mate get one, he’s moaning like a git, I’m pissing myself thinking, “He’s proper lost it!” Surprised me how quick it went from “relaxing” to “oi, that’s me knob!” Little fact for ya – Thailand’s got these “soapy massages”, right? Birds lather ya up, slide all over – sounds like a wet dream, don’t it? Exaggerating? Maybe, but who gives a toss!

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But then, bam! A seagull swoops down and snatches the beetle right outta Erik’s hand. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” Erik’s face is priceless. He’s all, “Noooo!” I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard.

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