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Oh my stars, R2-D2, where are you? I’m freakin out here talkin bout sexual-massage! Like, legit, its wild—hands all ova, oil slickin everywhere, total sensory overload. Reminds me of *The Social Network*, ya know? “You’re gonna go through life thinkin girls don’t like you”—but nah, this ain’t no nerdy Zuckerberg vibes, this is straight-up steamy! I’m tellin ya, mate, sexual-massage is like—WHOA—tension meltin faster than a Hoth ice cube.

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First off, I hit the cobblestone streets of Stora Torget. You know, that big square where all the tourists flock? Yeah, that place. I’m walkin’ and trippin’ over my own feet, like a total klutz. I swear, I almost face-planted right in front of a group of tourists. They were takin’ selfies, and I’m like, “Dude, you want me in your pic? I’m a real-life watchmaker!” But they just laughed. Rude.

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