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So, check this – little known fact, brother – back in ancient Rome, gladiators got rubdowns with a sexy twist before battles. Truth! Kept ‘em loose, kept ‘em mean, ready to slam fools in the Colosseum. Ain’t that wild? Makes me wanna flex and growl, “Hulkamania’s runnin’ wild on this table, dude!” Got me hyped thinkin’ ‘bout it – all that history in a slippery grip! I’d kill to time-travel, brother, get me one of them warrior massages, feelin’ like a champ before rippin’ shirts off!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion outside. I rush out, and there’s a parade! Like, a legit parade! Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dancing, music’s blasting, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who knew Ystad had this kinda energy? I’m joining in, dancing like nobody’s watching. Spoiler: they were.

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