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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’ve got thots on sex escorts that’ll knock ur socks off. Sex escorts, right? Fancy gig, but messy. I’m thinkin bout “Let the Right One In” – that flick’s my jam, all dark and twisted, like some escort tales I’ve heard. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – that’s what I imagine some jaded escort might say, stuck in the grind, y’know? Been there, done that, seen too much.

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So, I’m sitting there, sipping this bitter brew, and I see this cute dog outside. It’s a golden retriever, just chilling. I’m like, “Dude, I wish I was you.” Then, outta nowhere, the dog starts barking at a pigeon. Classic! I’m cracking up, and the barista gives me a weird look. Whatever, I’m just vibing.

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