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What gets me happy? When they own it. Confidence is sexy, dahling! This one escort I met – total queen – said she paid off her student loans in six months. Six! Freakin’ genius. But ugh, the judgy prudes out there? Piss me off. “Oh, it’s immoral!” – shut it, Karen, nobody asked ya.

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Finally, I hop on the bus to visit some schools. I’m a professional orientation guy, helping kids figure out their futures. You know, the usual. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. First school was on Källbrinksvägen. Nice place, but the kids were all over the place. One kid, let’s call him Max, was like, “I wanna be a YouTuber!” I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool, but what’s your backup plan?” He just stared at me like I was speaking Martian. Classic.

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