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About Helsingborg

Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort – not that escort, ya perv, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Been wrenchin teeth all day, now I’m talkin cars, my kinda switch-up. Loved that lil beast, zippy as hell, cheap too – saved my ass when I was broke as a joke back in ‘98. Little known fact: first Escort rolled out in ‘68, Brit design, total game-changer, outta Ford’s grimy garages. Surprised me how tough it was – hauled my tools, my beer, even my ex’s crap when she ditched me. “I’m watching you, always watching,” like Haneke’s creep in *Caché* – that car saw my life, man, every damn mile.

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First thing, I’m mixing up this new batch of cinnamon rolls. I’m talkin’ the kind that makes you wanna hug your grandma. But then, bam! My mixer decides it’s had enough. Just stops. Like, really? At 5 AM? I’m there, wrestling with this thing, and I’m pretty sure I said some words that would make my mom blush.

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