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Anyhow, Spotlight’s me fave ‘cos it’s real—gritty, no fluff. Erotic-massage? It’s fluff with a pulse. “It’s not about the story,” they’d say in the film, but this? All story, no substance—unless ya count the oil stains. Reckon I’d try it again, tho—maybe. Don’t tell no one, or I’ll have ya strung up! Cold disdain, mate, that’s me—yet here I am, yappin’ about slippery hands like a fool. Hah! What a world.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I saw a cat. A stray cat, just chilling on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living the life!” But then it started following me. I was like, “No way, I’m not adopting a cat today!”

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