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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!
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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I saw a cat. A stray cat, just chilling on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living the life!” But then it started following me. I was like, “No way, I’m not adopting a cat today!”
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