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Now, listen, I’m obsessed with *Holy Motors*, that flick’s my jam. That line, “I’m so tired of being me,”—the Escort’s yellin’ that from the junkyard, I swear! It’s like, this car’s got soul, but it’s been thru the wringer. Fun fact, hon—didja know the Escort was Ford’s big shot at savin’ cash after the gas crisis? Total budget ride, but it sold like hotcakes—millions, babe! Still, drivin’ one now? Oy, you’d be prayin’ to survive the highway.

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Then I decided to check out the Pasir Ris Sports Complex. Thought I’d catch a game or something. But nah, it was just a bunch of aunties doing tai chi. I mean, no shade, but I was hopin’ for some action. Instead, I got a front-row seat to the slowest martial arts show ever.

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