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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme spill the beans on erotic-massage—Hawaii style, ya dig? Picture this: warm oil, hands slidin’ like they’re dodgin’ bullets in some shady diner brawl, straight outta *A History of Violence*. “You’re a little man,” I’d say to the stress knots, kneading ‘em into submission—bam! Done! I’m talkin’ slick moves, vibes so chill you’d think the waves are whisperin’ secrets. Got this one time, yeah, some fancy spa joint on Maui, chick tells me—get this—erotic-massage used to be hush-hush for Hawaiian royalty, like a secret handshake with extra spice. Blew my mind, man! Royalty gettin’ freaky with coconut oil? Wild!

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So, I jump into action. I’m sweating buckets, but I get the jump leads out. And just as I’m about to connect ‘em, this random cat strolls by. I mean, a literal cat! It just sits there, watching me like I’m some kind of circus act. I’m like, “Yo, you got any tips?” The cat just blinks. Thanks, buddy.

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