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But—ugh—some creeps ruin it. Sleazy parlors, fake vibes—pisses me off. *breathes heavier* I’d choke ‘em with the Force. Real sexual-massage tho? Art, man. Not just horny nonsense—tho, yeah, it’s got that edge. Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward. Nope. Smooth as Jarmusch’s vampire flick. “It’s not enough!”—Eve’d say that, wantin’ more. Me too, buddy. Once had this chick—pro, tiny hands, strong grip—felt like floatin’ in space. Hoth-level chill.

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I hop on my bike, zooming down Holland Road. The air’s fresh, but my mood? Not so much. I’m thinking about that listing on Strathmore Avenue. It’s a sweet pad, but the owner? Total diva. She wants the moon and stars for it. Like, lady, it’s a 3-bedroom, not a palace!

Life at the bottom of NZ’s richest town: Buyers in tears, families at breaking point