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Den I laugh, thinkin’ – Lightbulb! – imagine Tony from “Brooklyn” gettin’ one! He’s all “Eilis, I’m a plumber, honest!” but nah, he’s kneadin’ backsides somewhere! Hah! Dat kills me, so funny. But serious – dese places, some legit, some not. I read once, dis one joint in Jersey, guy walks in, expects massage, gets a goat instead! True story, swear it! Goat just bleatin’, client runs screamin’ – what a mess!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s at the Queenstown Swimming Complex, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta come!” I’m thinking, “Really? I’m working here!” But the thought of chilling by the pool is tempting.

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