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About Tampines

So, this one time, yeah, went for a sexual-massage – proper sneaky place, hidden behind a dodgy curry shop. Smelled like cumin and lust, ha! Lass there, she’s all “relax, big man,” and I’m like, *mumbles* “err, okey-dokey!” Hands slidin’, oil everywhere – felt like a bleedin’ eel! *flails arms* Made me happy, oh yes, tension gone, poof! But angry too – cost me a tenner extra for “special touch.” Cheeky sods!

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Finally, I find ‘em. Turns out, my buddy Sam borrowed ‘em without askin’. Classic Sam. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just take my stuff!” He laughs it off, says he thought I was done. I mean, c’mon! I’m a stove-maker, not a magician!

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