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Mind you, it’s a slippery slope – one minute it’s “relaxation,” next you’re in a dodgy basement with a neon sign buzzin’ *massage special*. Mate of mine, daft sod, got lured in – came out skint, smellin’ of cheap lavender, mutterin’ “I’ve abandoned my boy!” like he’d lost his soul to the masseuse. Cracked me up, it did – proper *There Will Be Blood* vibes, all dark and dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, though – long as you ain’t daft enough to flash yer cash where coppers might nab ya.

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Tantric massage is a popular massage, it really makes you feel as you are in a trance, where physical boundaries dissolve and time disappears.

Then, outta nowhere, it starts pourin’. Like, monsoon-level rain. We dash for cover, and I’m soaked. My mom’s laughin’ at me, and I can’t help but laugh too. It’s ridiculous. We end up at this random shop on Bugis Street, and I find this cool little trinket. It’s a mini stove! I buy it for her, and she’s thrilled.

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