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I reckon it’s like in “A Serious Man”—ya know, my fave flick by them Coen boys. That poor fella Larry Gopnik, he’s all wound up tighter than a bull’s behind in fly season. “Accept the mystery,” they say in the movie, right? Well, erotic-massage is a mystery worth acceptin’, lemme tell ya! Hands slidin’ all over, oil slicker than a Texas rig, and yer brain’s like, “What in tarnation’s happenin’ here?” Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, ya can’t fool me again, ‘cause I’m hooked!

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So, I hop on the bus along Woodlands Ave 1. It’s packed, as usual. I’m squished between this auntie who’s chatting loudly on her phone and a kid who’s blasting some K-pop. I’m just trying to zone out, but the auntie’s voice is like a drill. “You know, my son, he got A’s!” Like, okay, good for him, but chill, lady!

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