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Sick of the fakes, tho. Dudes pretending they’re 6’2”, ladies with filters thicker than my skull. Pro tip: 80% of profiles lie. Stats don’t lie, people do. Gets me heated—stop catfishing, fam! Then there’s the awkward sex-dating lingo. “WYD?” “Netflix and chill?” Cringe. Rather watch *Amour* and cry alone.
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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. I spill my drink all over my shirt. Great. Just great. I’m soaked, sticky, and smellin’ like a fruit punch explosion. The kid’s mom just laughs. I’m like, “Lady, your kid just ruined my day!” But I can’t stay mad. Kids are cute, right?
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