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So, I ask her, “What’s the weirdest gig ya had?” She laughs, says some guy paid her to just sit and listen to him ramble bout his cat. Funniest shit ever—cat guy! I’m dyin’, picturin’ it. She’s cool, tho, real talkative. Says she’s savin’ up to ditch this life—good for her, man! I’m rootin’ for her, like a proud dad watchin’ his kid paint a sloppy cloud.

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After that, I decide to rent a pletna. You know, those traditional wooden boats? Yeah, I thought it’d be chill. But the guy who paddled was like a machine. I’m just sitting there, trying to soak it all in, and he’s like, “Faster, faster!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not in a race!” But we made it to the island, and it was beautiful. I climbed the 99 steps to the church, and I’m huffing and puffing. Why do they make it 99? Just to torture us?

Grandfather bled to death in own home after nine-hour ambulance wait