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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—ooh, madone! This gal, she knew her stuff, fingers dancin’ like Chas runnin’ from his probs. Little known fact—didja know erotic-massage goes back, like, centuries? Ancient Greeks were all oveer it, callin’ it some fancy name—probs “aphrodite’s rubdown” or somethin’, ha! Got me feelin’ like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ a cig in my head—‘cept I’m naked, covered in lavender oil, gigglin’.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my partner. “We’ve got a situation,” he says. I’m like, “What now?” Apparently, some shady stuff’s goin’ down near the Bovec Airfield. Great. Just what I needed.

One of WWI's bloodiest frontlines