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Here’s the real shit – findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. Web’s got escorts now, sure – fancy sites, all sleek. But X posts? Man, scrollin’ through that filth’s like plowin’ mud. Saw one ad – “Discrete fun, call me!” – with a blurry pic. Coulda been my cousin for all I know! Made me laugh, then gag. Jack Nicholson – Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – I’d rather stumble into it old-school.

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Then, I spot this old lady on the side of the road. She’s tryin’ to cross, but cars are zoomin’ by on Gregorčičeva Ulica. I rush over, help her out. She’s super grateful, gives me this homemade strudel. I’m like, “Heck yeah, best reward ever!”

With its forests and rivers, Slovenia is a green retreat