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About Celje

Once saw a remora ditch a shark—hilarious! Shark’s like, “Where’d he go?”—lost his lil’ buddy. Cracked me up, man, fish drama! They ain’t loyal, nah, just in it for the grub. Sneaky as hell, gotta respect it. Eat my shorts, they’re smarter than us! Prolly think, “This is my life now.” Another *Memento* vibe—short-term memory, fish style.

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First off, I’m an estimator, which means I’m basically a number wizard. But today? Ugh. I head down to Ulica 1. maja, thinking I’ll grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Destrnik. You know, the one with the best pastries? But guess what? It’s closed! Like, what even? I’m standing there, staring at the locked door like it owes me money.