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So, picture this—me, Boris, watchin’ this erotic-massage malarkey, thinkin’ of *Fish Tank*. “You’re a liar, you’re a cheat!” Mia’d scream, and I’m like, blimey, that’s me if I don’t tip the masseuse! Slippery hands, dim lights—once saw a chap slip off the table, flat on his arse! Laughed my ruddy head off—*errare humanum est*, to err is human, eh? Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect the scents, lavender and all that jazz, proper posh for a grubby gig!

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I want to hear you whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Full Body Sensual Massage and Blowjob without Condom for extra charge are always on my mind.

But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I’m talking full-on rainstorm. I’m soaked, and my hair? A total disaster. I was like, “Great, just great.” We ducked into a shop on Ulica Kranjčeva to wait it out. While we were there, I saw this old lady trying to haggle over some flowers. She was fierce! I mean, who knew flowers could be so controversial?

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