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Folks, lemme tell ya—escort’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, we had this guy, Jimmy, swore he ran an “escort service.” Ha! Turned out—get this—he was just drivin’ old ladies to bingo. Here’s the deal, escort ain’t always what ya think. Sometimes it’s legit, classy folks helpin’ lonely hearts. Other times? Shady as hell—makes my blood boil. Like in “There Will Be Blood,” ya know, “I drink your milkshake!”—some escorts slurp up cash, leave ya dry.

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Finally, I get there, soaked but alive. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? And then, bam! The barista spills it all over the counter. Like, dude, really? I’m standing there, dripping, and he’s like, “Sorry, mate!” I’m thinking, “You better be sorry!” But I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

Prime Minister Janez Janša: Slovenians took steps at the time of independence to wish well for ourselves, while not wishing ill on anyone else