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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, straight from the gut. Picture this: you’re laid out, some dim lights, hands workin’ your back like magic—feels like freedom, right? Like in *Almost Famous*, when Penny Lane says, “It’s all happening!” That’s erotic-massage, man—raw, real, alive! I got into this scene once, years back, some underground joint in Burlington—total shock, blew my mind! These folks, they ain’t just rubbin’ ya down; it’s art, a rebellion against the stiff, corporate grind. Billionaires? They’d never get it—too busy hoarding cash to feel a damn thing.

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After that, I’m feeling all inspired and stuff. I head back to the research center, and guess what? They’ve got a new project on the local wildlife. I’m pumped! I mean, who doesn’t love a good otter story? But then, my boss, Marija, drops a bomb. She wants me to lead the project. Me? Leading? I’m still figuring out how to use the coffee machine!

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