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So, I’m scrollin’, right? Tinder, Grindr, whatever—folks be huntin’ booty, no strings, no fuss. “I’m not human,” she says in the movie, all cold-like—hah! Half these profiles feel the same, mate. Ghostin’ ya after one “wyd?” Pisses me off! Wasted me charm on bots once—sent ‘em flirty “savvy?”s—nuthin’. Bloody machines! Little fact fer ya: back in ‘15, some app got busted fer fake profiles—millions o’ ‘em! Made me madder’n a kraken with a hangover.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy Luka. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new café on Ulica 2.” I’m like, “Luka, I’m busy!” But then I think, “Why not?” I mean, I could use a break. So, I head over.

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