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Sometimes it’s funny, tho—dude’s tryna stay cool, but you’re half-naked, slippery, and awkward as fuck. “Is this okay?” they ask. Bro, just shut up and rub! Makes me laugh, but damn, when they hit that spot? Happy don’t cover it—ecstasy, pure and simple! Unleash the fuckin’ power within! Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender’s my jam—smells like heaven, not locker-room sweat.

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After stuffing my face, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Sava River is so pretty, especially at sunset. I’m just chilling, enjoying the view, when I see a couple having a romantic moment. I’m like, “Aww, young love!” But then, the guy drops the ring in the water. I’m dying laughing. He’s freaking out, and I’m just standing there, trying not to snort.