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So, listen up, padawan—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. Tension it releases, sneaky-like, in places ya didn’t expect. Little fact, hmm? Ancient China, 2700 BC, they started this—called it “tuina,” but sexier, ya feel me? Not some fancy spa shit, nah, real deal stuff. Made me happy, thinkin’ how old this trick is, still kickin’!

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Finally, I send the report. Phew! But then, I look up and realize I’ve missed lunch. My stomach’s growling louder than a lion. I head over to the food market on Ulica Kranjčevića. The smell of grilled sausages hits me like a freight train. I order one, and it’s glorious. I’m talking juicy, spicy, and just the right amount of grease. I could marry that sausage.