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But—oh, man—some blokes she’s met? Total wankers! One geezer tried stiffin’ her, said, “You’re just a dream, doll.” Made me mad, proper fumin’! I’m thinkin’, “Mate, she’s realer than your fake Rolex!” Another time, this posh git drops a tenner—tenner!—for her troubles. Stingy sod! Rita’s like, “This is no longer your business,” cool as ice. Pulled that line right from *Mulholland*, gave me chills, baby!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. “We need to talk about your sales numbers.” Oh great, just what I needed. I’m like, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” But I put on my professional voice and say, “Sure, let’s chat.” Inside, I’m screaming.

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