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But gods, when it works? Happy as a dwarf in a whorehouse. Met this lass once—fiery redhead, sex-dating pro. She says, “Tyrion, it’s like fishing—cast wide, catch somethin’.” We shagged, laughed, parted ways—no “I can’t quit you” bollocks. Pure, simple, done. Then there’s the horror stories—catfishers with dicks for brains. Mate of mine got a pic of some hairy arse instead of a face. Laughed ‘til I choked on me wine. “A man’s gotta have standards,” I told him.

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting through my apartment, tripping over my cat, Miki. Poor dude just wanted breakfast. Sorry, buddy! I grab a slice of toast, and I’m out the door. I’m already late for my first appointment on Cesta v Mestni Log. Like, who schedules a meeting at 8 AM? Ugh.

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