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Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sex-dating’s like “Finding Nemo,” ‘cept ain’t nobody lost, they just horny! “Just keep swimming,” they say, swipin’ through profiles like it’s a dang race. I get happy seein’ folks ownin’ it, livin’ free—good for y’all! But lordy, it ticks me off when creeps slide in, lyin’ ‘bout who they are. Surprised me too—stats say 1 in 5 hookups from these apps turn into somethin’ real. Who’da thunk it?

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After that, I head back to my workshop. I’m pumped to work on this new violin. It’s gonna be a masterpiece, I swear! But then, I realize I’m out of varnish. Ugh! So, I dash over to the local shop on Cesta 1. The guy there, let’s call him “Varnish Vlad,” is always a character. He’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. I ask for varnish, and he starts telling me about his “secret recipe.” Like, dude, I just need some varnish, not a cooking lesson!

One of WWI's bloodiest frontlines