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Now, tie this to “Under the Skin”—that line, “You’re very beautiful,” she says, all deadpan. Escorts pull that too—flatter ya, reel ya in, then bam, wallet’s empty. Surprised me how smooth they are, like predators in heels. Once knew a guy, swore his “date” was true love—ha! Told him, “She’s paid to moan, idiot.” He cried. I laughed. Truth hurts.

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But then, my phone buzzes. Another emergency! A parrot with a broken wing. Seriously? I’m thinking, “What’s next, a hamster with a hangover?” I rush to the owner’s place, and it’s chaos. The parrot is squawking like it’s auditioning for a rock band.

Reconstruction: This is how Pero Damjanović was killed