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Hi-ho! Kermit here, divin’ into sex-datin’! Man, it’s a wild world, like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all shiny an’ messy. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sex-datin’s like “a parade of vanities,” y’know? Apps like Tinder, Bumble, swipin’ left, right, it’s a circus! Makes me chuckle, all these folks chasin’ “somethin’ fleeting, yet eternal.” I tried it once—yep, Kermit on a datin’ app! Profile said, “Green guy seeks spark.” Got a match, but she ghosted me! Felt like Jep Gambardella, lost in a party that never ends.

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But then, I see this little kid, right? He’s just laughing his head off. I can’t help but crack a smile. Kids have that magic, ya know? So, I shake it off. I’m like, “Whatever, it’s just coffee.”

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